Friday, July 22, 2022

I'm Still Here......Quiet Days are Good Days

 I'm still here and working through the grief of losing Nita.
Thank you all for sharing in this journey I'm on.....that all who love Nita are on.
Losing Nita is the biggest loss I have ever faced in all of my 73 years and 9 months of living.
You don't prepare yourself for something like this.
It happens and it knocks the wind out of you.
Still, I go to sleep at night thinking of and thanking God for Nita and I wake up every morning remembering she is gone ..... and thanking God I knew and loved her every single day of her life.

Life - L I F E - goes on.....
even when we think it should stop and be still at the enormous loss we have suffered - Life goes on.
And right now the realization that LIFE goes on without Nita in it is devastating.
Not just to me....but I'm thinking of her husband and son and daughter and Deanie and Lonnie and all who love her. Judy and the ones she worked with....oh, how Nita loved her job and all the people she worked with. They were like family to her.
 So what am I doing? Grieving and remembering and basking in the glow of knowing my sister loved me. I know she did. I felt it and she said it and I miss her.
She loved Deanie and Lonnie every bit as much and our hearts are so broken.

I have my prayer time and devotions every morning and I am taking care of Louis Dean.
He's doing so well in drinking his water and taking his medicine.
The doctor's office called regarding his CT scan and X-rays and said they did not look alarming and he would continue to compare the scans and talk more with us next week at our appointment.
I'm so grateful and optimistic for a good report.
The report said the pneumonia was 'resolved' so I'm thinking that's a good thing.

We are desperately trying to keep our gardens alive.
I get up early and water the back and then after the sun goes down we water the front.
Texas heat has been so destructive.
Grass fires in West Texas and all over the state.
Energy and water demands are causing us to conserve as best we can to avoid rolling black outs.
2022 has been a hard summer and it's not over yet.
We are all praying for rain and cooler temps.

2010 was my first year to blog and I have now printed up all the years through 2019.
At this rate I should be caught up soon and then I can stay on schedule.

This is the linen closet and I was digging out some fall pillows when I noticed the kitties.
Can you spy both of them?

And, yes, I am decorating for fall.....not as I usually do with such happy abandon....
but as a comfort to my soul. Each tub I bring in brings me the peace and contentment I so need right now.
I know! No one in their right mind decorates for FALL in July.....
but I'm not in my right mind right now so I am doing whatever I can find to comfort my soul.
I've been cooking good meals and working in the yard every morning.
I pray as I work and I'm surprised at how much I can do all by myself.
Louis Dean is feeling better and stronger and has joined me.
This morning he cleaned the gutters out while I trimmed an unruly bush down to size and pulled up a big patch of ugly weeds.

I bought a couple of HUGE watermelons at HEB last weekend and after we finished off the first one, I used the juice to make a cocktail......Chardonnay and watermelon juice with a sprig of fresh mint.
Served in my Kansas City wine glass gifted me by my sister Rita.

I love reading the cards that arrive every day and I will be praying over these as I did over the ones sent to Lillian. Who knew I would be the one receiving cards now but I am so grateful for each and every one. It's almost a holy time as I bring in the mail and sit with my coffee and read and pray for the kindness of friends and loved ones who bring comfort to my heart.

A friend sent me this lovely fragrant candle the other day.......
The label was special ordered and I will keep and treasure this jar for the rest of my life....
Nita's Love.

Tuesday was the last time I left the house.
I took a good long nap this afternoon and when I got up I knew it was time to get dressed and look decent and leave the house - if only for a little while.

I went to Aldi and God has a way of encouraging us.
I had fixed my face - sort of - and my hair - sort of.
Meaning little makeup and a small wiglet with a head band.
I wore a white camisole under a short denim dress.
This used to be my uniform but I'm down to only one or two denim jumpers now.
I shall be shopping for more soon.
Anyway, as I was passing this cute older couple - both dressed in red t-shirts and blue jeans - the lady looked at me and said, "Girl! you look so good! Where you going???"
She made my day!!!

I found this on Facebook and I love it!
Don't tell Louis Dean but I am cutting his collection of 'junk' down to size! 
I will be more than willing to go to Home Depot and buy whatever he needs that I may have thrown away! But since he has a little bit of dementia....I'm thinking he may forget what he had so it won't be a big deal! I know I forget about so many things!

While I normally do not watch a lot of TV -
I have been what I think they call 'binge watching' Vera!
Up to Season Five now.
Louis Dean can't keep up with the plots here so I have been trying to find things we can both watch.

We loved the original series of Leverage so I thought this would be a winner!
Not so much.
I still watch it though.

I love this one because the lead character reminds me so much of our Chandy Girl!
Plus it's fascinating!
It's good for one episode a day with Louis Dean.

The real winner has been S.W.A.T.
Amber put us on to this one and he is loving it!
So much so that he wants to watch two episodes back to back.

It is Friday night as I write this - 8:13 PM to be exact.
Friday nights used to be special so I am going to try and bring that back.

I have pork chops ready to put on the grill, corn on the cob to cook, garlic green beans are in the small crock pot and all I have left to do is put a small garden salad together.

Two bottles of wine are chilling in the fridge.
One is a Sauvignon Blanc that is sugar free and the other one is my all time favorite......

After our dinner, I have a movie in mind for tonight!

Amber says this is really good!

Happy Friday Night, Y'all!


Debby said...

My sister died unexpectedly at age 56 in 2015. I know the grief. Then in 2020 her only daughter and my niece died at age 28. All my family is gone now except for my husband and my sons and their family. I do miss my family. Prayers for comfort.

Carole said...

Good luck with LD. He is so lucky to have you. Take care of yourself too. Cheers

Arlene G said...

Well here I sit and up pops a new post!! Decorate for fall all you want to if it brings you pleasure. I listen to Christmas music year round because I love it so and it is so peaceful. I love those tv screen savers with seasonal pictures too! AS for tv shows....we are watching Outlander but I will be honest and say we fast forward through some of it ....why do they have to put such things in a good story? The basic story of the Scottish Highlanders is very good. I love a man in a kilt.:) We love well as Midsomer Murders which we are watching right now. There are so many seasons of it that it is going to take us a while to watch them all. Hope each day brings a feeling of less grief. Love you Linda!!

Anonymous said...

Continuing to pray for you and your family.❤️๐Ÿ™

Brenda said...


Ginny Hartzler said...

I am so glad you are decorating for fall. Right now, you really need to do whatever makes you happy; it will help get you thought this. I will wait till mid-August, but am anxious myself! Have you ever watched Unforgotten? Or Hetty Wainthrop? Broadchurch is also excellent! All PBS shows, and BritBox. The kitties are adorable in the linen closet, maybe you should make them their own shelf!! Filled with a cushion, catnip, and toys.

Unknown said...

If decorating for fall comforts your soul then by all means you get to decorating. Whatever works to help you get through these days of grieving. They are hard, I know. I lost my brother 30 years ago and I still miss him every single day. That will never change. Prayers for every one of you missing Nita.

Bluebird49 said...

Keep doing what makes you and Louis Dean happy!
It did my crazy "stroke brain" so much good to read what you are up to tonight in Texas. I am chilling under Doctor commands. Sure do hope my speech stuff improves or Ed will need therapy for sure. He is doing so much , I worry. I have done everything for us all these years, but he's having learn a lot in a short time. I really don't know much to do but hope for God's mercy and favor...
I am glad you and your family had dear Nita for this long. She was a treasure and so are you!!❤๐Ÿ’”

Hootin Anni said...

Of course love the kitties in the closet! Love what the lady at Aldi's said to you to lift your spirits. I went to Home Goods the other day this week & they had Halloween & thanksgiving stuff on the your fall decorating isn't THAT early.

Pamela M. Steiner said...

I love reading your life's journal. When you say you have printed your posts are you doing that yourself or do you send them somewhere to be printed? I want to do something like that, but goodness, the cost of printer ink drives me batty...I just can't afford to keep doing it on my own. But I know if I don't print the special ones at least they will be lost forever as technology changes, etc., and only the printed words will survive. My heart goes out to you as you grieve the loss of your dear sister. I know it hurts deeply. I have lost an older brother and miss him a lot, but we weren't as close as you and your Nita were. If my sister were to pass on I know I would be hurting like you. Just keep doing what you are doing and do the things that bring you some little bits of joy and comfort, like decorating for fall already. I know I would sure love to have some fall weather show up and surprise us a little early. Praying for you and Louis Dean and all of the above. God bless you dear friend.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

It's nice to work in the yard and decorate and do those things that bring joy. I'm so glad Louis Dean is feeling better too. Take care and know that we are all praying for you and your family. Sweet hugs, Diane

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

YES, life does go on and it's a good thing as we need to continue on too. When you loose someone you love, it's hard to function with out them. I have lost my husband, my oldest son and one of my sisters, Their deaths changed everything for me, and I've had to deal with all of them. But life does go on and so must I.
Take care and try to find some joy in the good memories you have.

Suemn said...

Hugs and prayers to you Linda!

photowannabe said...

A bit of "Me Time" is just what the doctor ordered.
Time for yourself and your memories is good.
Continued prayers for you and LD.
Hope the weather will cool off very soon.
Love you

Vee said...

Poignant and dear this post is.

I just knew that you would fill the days with good things.

The reports from the doc are good and encouraging ones.

Praying that the weather cools down there. Perhaps the
autumn decorating will help with that. Though autumn is my
favorite season, thinking about it in July doesn't work here in
Maine. Texas? Now that's a different story.

Love to you and all your family.

Susie said...

Linda, I saw my grief dr on Wed. He said that life does go on and the people we love who have passed would want us to live life and have happiness. I know your sweet Nita would want that for all her family too. Praying for all of you. So glad to read about LD's reports. I laughed about the nuts and bolts. Ted was also a saver of anything to keep in the shop. He would dismantle anything broken to save some screw or nut. I miss that man. Blessings and hugs to you and the family, xoxo,love, Susie

Carole said...

Would never have thought of watermelon juice and chardonnay - will have to try it once spring arrives - which today feels a long way off - a grey rainy cool day.

Debbie said...

i have been thinking about you and nita, her sweet smile and her joyful disposition. you were so very lucky to have her for a sister!!

i love that you print your blogs, i do too (i know you know that) but i am way behind. i wanted to try to catch up recently when they offered 45% off but i just did not have the time. i think i printed 4. i don't think my sons will keep them, and then i wonder if they will end up in the trash, that would break my heart!!

Deanna Rabe said...

I hope this doesn't sound inappropriate, but you are grieving well. You're allowing yourself to feel the pain, and finding ways to comfort yourself. You love fall so much, I think that decorating for it now is brilliant! Besides, we only have a month and a few days until "September Morn!"

That candle with label is a soul filling gift! Treasure!