Remembering Reaoma

We knew this was coming. 

Reaoma has been on hospice for about a year. 

We have watched the disease steal more of her away with our every visit.

This past week it became obvious she was near the end of her journey.

Reaoma had Progressive Supranuclear Palsy.....an extremely uncommon disease....

"Progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP) is an uncommon brain disorder that affects movement, control of walking (gait) and balance, speech, swallowing, vision, mood and behavior, and thinking. The disease results from damage to nerve cells in the brain. The disorder’s long name indicates that the disease worsens (progressive) and causes weakness (palsy) by damaging certain parts of the brain above nerve cell clusters called nuclei (supranuclear). These nuclei particularly control eye movements. One of the classic signs of the disease is an inability to aim and move the eyes properly, which individuals may experience as blurring of vision. 

Estimates vary, but only about three to six in every 100,000 people worldwide, or approximately 20,000 Americans, have PSP—making it much less common than Parkinson's disease (another movement disorder in which an estimated 50,000 Americans are diagnosed each year). Symptoms of PSP begin on average after age 60, but may occur earlier. Men are affected more often than women."

Reaoma had this disease for over 5 years before it took her away.

Pamela Perry my sweet momma Reaoma Nanney Stiegler finally lost her fight with the debilitating disease PSP last night. I was with her almost until the end as was her good friend and angel Linda Chapman. I couldn't have done it without her. Mom wanted to be cremated and her ashes will be buried by her loving husband Doug at the Guiceland Cemetary down the road from where their farm Rainbow's End was. I think this picture above was taken when we were in the Girl Scouts together. She was my best friend and companion in a house full of boys. I'm going to miss her but so thankful she is not suffering anymore.

 From Pam's Facebook page.....

Pam had foot surgery recently and has been on medical leave from her job so she was able to spend more time with her mom than usual. This was a God thing.

I had visited on Tuesday and could tell she was slipping away.

By Friday we were in watch mode.

Louis Dean and I went up in the afternoon to see her.

There was definitely something different.

I went back that evening and Pam and I sat with Reaoma trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Hospice had left a pamphlet in the room about dying and I found it helpful in understanding the stages. Everyone on staff agreed that she would not be with us much longer.

I went back up there late Saturday afternoon and stayed with Pam.

She's an only daughter and has been solely responsible for caring for her mother.

There was another pamphlet and this one was even more helpful.

The first one seemed to let us know what to expect during the process of dying and the second one told us how we could help.

We prayed and talked to Reaoma. Pam played hymns and Native American music for her on her phone. I combed her hair. Pam spritzed her with her favorite perfume. The staff came in every two hours with medication to keep her comfortable. We cried and we laughed. We talked about memories and we said our goodbyes. Pam did every thing she could possibly do for her mother. She went home about 9:00 and I stayed until a little after 10:00. I lingered, knowing it was my last time to be with her. I told her again how much I loved and appreciated her and Doug and the gift of their friendship.

It was hard to leave. The booklet said that we really do have some control over when we die. To a degree. Sometimes our loved one will hang on until they are alone.....wanting to spare and protect the ones who love them. I think Reaoma was waiting for us to go home before she went home.

Reaoma left us at 1:00 Sunday morning.

Neither one of us got much sleep Saturday night.

Pam got the phone call at 2:30 and she sent me a text message.

We were up there at 7:00 this morning to clean out her room.

I painted this for her in 1998 and brought it back home with me today.

Pam graciously allowed me to keep some of her shirts and this one fit both Reaoma and me to a T!

We got nearly everything out but the TV and a table so late this afternoon, Louis Dean and I met Pam up there and he hauled those things to the truck and we took them to her house - which isn't far from ours.

I was all prepared for a wave of sadness to come over me as I left Reaoma's room for the last time.

But, thanks to Pam.....we laughed instead of cried!

Pam was using the walker like a scooter so she didn't have to use the crutches all the way to the car.

The wheels caught on the carpet track and she face planted down on top of it. Face down and hitting her chin on the bar. I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of her before she rolled herself over!

Look! She took a good tumble but didn't drop her phone!!

And she laughed! Then so did we!

Isn't she cute??

Laughter is good medicine, indeed!

I have found some comfort in wearing Reaoma's socks and working my way through this initial grief stage.

I saw this on Facebook today and immediately thought of Reaoma.

She did not choose this path and this part of her journey.

But she did choose how to live it.

With grace and humor and love and acceptance.

And I told her so while she could still hear me.

I told her I loved her and that I'm proud of her.

I told her she had done a good job and finished her work here.

I told her it was okay to go.

I told her to follow the Light....that Jesus was waiting for her....

and she did. She is with him now.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.....they have made all the difference.

I am up late tonight as I prepare for a colonoscopy in the morning.

Tomorrow night I will let you know who will win the Western Santa.

Louis Dean will draw the name in the morning

And now I'm going to take a nap - it's a nap because I have to get up at 4:30 to drink more of this vile concoction as a second round of prep.

If you have had one of these procedures - you know what I'm talking about - and for you younger folks - well, don't worry about it until you're 50+. Maybe it's 55.....

And after 80 years of age - you get a pass.

Turning off the light now.......

Good night!