Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Gifts ....

I had told Mother last night that she would be getting her hair done today so she woke up all excited.
I was sleeping soundly when all of a sudden, I remembered the three coffee pots in a row on the coffee cart and that they were all ready to turn on EXCEPT I had not turned on the power strip. Mother couldn't possibly figure out where that strip plug button is because it is so well hidden. So I was stumbling to our bedroom door ready to lurch my way down the hall, flip on the power strip and go right back to bed. I opened the door - and THERE WAS MOTHER!!! She had her shower things all in her walker basket and said, "Can I?? NOW?" I said, "No!" She said, "PEESE!" I said, "Later!"
And I went back to bed for another hour! Louis Dean got up and said he was taking his coffee to the gazebo. I had an idea! I went out the bedroom door to join him. Mind you, I locked my bedroom door to the hall first! He went in and poured my coffee and said Mother was sitting there at the kitchen table drinking her pot of coffee and was doing fine. This gave us the gift of having our regular time of coffee, Bible reading and prayer.

Mother took her shower after I had made up the bed and got the bathroom ready for her.
At noon, Faith and I left to do a couple of errands and then we picked Summer up at the airport.
The flight was good but she needed to  take her medicine and go to bed which she did - in our bedroom. Fortunately it was available!! Hahaha!

Mother was about to give up on ever getting her hair done when I started cooking and made Taco Salads for all of us. While Summer napped, I was finally able to tell Mother it was time to go!!

She was so happy!
Never mind that I had messaged my hairdresser and she was stuck in traffic and would be there soon.
It was just easier to go on and wait than to explain - or TRY to explain the delay.

As it turned out, Yulisa was stuck in some SERIOUS traffic from an accident so she called and told me Em Sum was excellent and would take care of Mother.

Which she did! She shampooed her and gave her a haircut, blow dried it and then used a curling iron all over and TEASED her hair - just like older ladies like it!

Em Sum was cute! She said she used to do 'LOTS of old ladies hair' and she LOVES do the backcombing or teasing as it is called. She was happy to do it!

Next week, she said she will color Mother's hair and use mousse - which will make her hair look pretty longer. The gift of a fresh hairdo!

Summer was awake shortly after we got back and she enjoyed visiting with Levi and Faith before going back to Rowlett.

The kids had spent much of the day watching their iPads or phones or TV or computers.
It was time to go outdoors!

I had been eyeing the section of the storage building - aka 'the upper room' -  that I was so wanting to get painted - and now I had a willing crew!

We divided it into three sections. I did one third on the right, Faith did the middle and Levi did the area on the left. Someone held the paint can while the other did the brush work.

Levi painted from a perch in the tree!

We got it done! More gifts - of work and the desire accomplished!

Louis Dean and I even managed to have our predinner sit in the gazebo together!

Tonight I made BLT's and we finished off the roasted veggies.
We watched the first half of The Shack last night so we settled down to finish it this evening.

We were all totally involved with the movie and both kids had spiritual insights and talked about what they thought would happen next - and it did.


After the movie was over, we all sat there in the den in silence for a few minutes as we watched the credits roll by and listened to the song and music play.
We began to talk about tears and the scripture that tells us.....

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

I said as a mother and grandmother, I pray they do not have a great many tears - but that, in truth, there IS no pain free life.
Then Levi headed off to get his pajamas and Faith gathered up some dishes to put in the kitchen and I went over to tell Mother she would have the bathroom to get ready for bed as soon as Levi took a quick shower. As I stood in front of Mother, I took her hand and said, "Mother, I just want you to know I forgive you." I repeated that sentence several times and then Mother started to cry and sob. I knelt down in front of her and we hugged and cried together. She thanked me and let me know this was such a relief to her. A gift. For both of us. I had not consciously planned or even thought of what I was saying until it was said.
 In truth, I have forgiven Mother long ago. But perhaps she didn't know that. And another truth is - perhaps I needed to remind myself..

My siblings and I lived dark and damaged childhoods and went on to living most of our adult lives the same way. This gift of our love and supportive relationship is one we treasure because it is so relatively new.

I shared this evening's experience with them in a message earlier.
This does not change our reality or how we can best take care of Mother without further damage to our own health - mental, spiritual and physical - or to our marriages and our own relationships to each other.  Both of my sisters have suffered much in the last 12 years since Mother had a massive stroke.
I do hope and pray Mother has a peace in her spirit.
I feel peace in mine.

Levi had come back to the den while Mother and I were crying together and he quietly slipped back out. But he heard what had happened.

Later I closed the house up and prepared the den for them to sleep tonight and then Faith, Levi and I held hands and had a word of prayer. As I was praying, Levi whispered to me, 'Don't forget about Sam.' I think the gifts from this weekend will live for eternity.....not only in my heart and Mother's but in Faith's and Levi's.


Ginny Hartzler said...

I am so happy for both you and your mom. We need to do things like this before it is too late, and we have awful regrets! You always do the right thing, you know. You have a good and kind heart, and are a wonderful child of God. I do hope you find a wonderful place for your mom, one that everyone likes. And I believe you will. Summer is here! How long will she stay? How is she doing?

Jutta said...

Good for you. My dad and bro do not follow that path ever

Tammi Cox said...

I dont comment much but this post has me in tears. I too had come from an extremely horrible childhood. I left home at 17 walked away never looked back... Didnt talk to my silbings for years. My oldest sister who I have not talked too in 18 years called me this week to mend our relationship. Its a bundle of emotions but Im ready to try to move forward. Im aslo going to call my mother in the morning and tell i forgive her for the role she played in the loss of my childhood.

Love ✌ and joy

Jutta said...

And alone you can not make it like "done" At least I can not

Jutta said...

My bday today - lets hope all will be good! ๐ŸŒป☀️๐Ÿ˜Š

Jutta said...

My dad killed my mom so no forgiving ever there

Linda said...

I love you, Jutta, and I'm so very sorry for the pain in your heart.
I know this day is the hardest one in the year and I pray that God will grant you the peace that passes understanding. You and I have stood in my kitchen holding hands and praying together. I'm holding you in prayer right now just as I did that Thanksgiving evening a few short years ago. May God grant you the peace that will free you.....not for your father's sake.....but for yours, my sweet precious friend.

Kathy said...

I really thought you should stay at the ranch permanently but now I see why God had you come home. Every post ends up having me in tears. Forgiveness is such a hard thing to do, but so necessary. Thank you, Linda, for being the person you are.

Susie said...

Linda, I am sending hugs to you. I loved this post and the previous one. I talked about Levi's prayer to Ted. IT was that was wonderful. I agree, you have had a deep loving time with your grandkids and mother. Now Summer is home , praying she is better . I think forgiving your mother like that will lift a hidden heaviness. Forgiving works for all people involved. I love you Linda, you have grace in your heart. Blessings to all, xoxo,love, Susie

Vee said...

Though Heaven will heal many things, it is wonderful to resolve issues on this side of the veil... Many blessings to all your family. Levi is such a sweet young man and Faith is a blessing just by her name alone! ☺️

Deanna Rabe said...

Praising God for this Linda. Sometimes we have to forgive again and again. I pray that this will bring a softening in your mother's heart and she will begin to forgive herself, too, which is often the hardest thing to do.

Changes in the wind said...

Only through the power of Jesus Christ can such miracles happen. True treasures happened here.

Arlene Grimm said...

We all do have sorrows and burdens in this life but thankful for the HOPE in Jesus. It is easy to let a root of bitterness grow from sorrow but you are a great example of someone who God made Better not Bitter! I am sure your Mother was glad to hear those words aloud.

Jan said...

When God is working in our lives, the most wonderful things happen even in the midst of great sorrow and pain. Bless you for your sweet and tender heart. My mother had terrible problems with mental illness when I was growing up and I have gradually come to realize after many years that my mother was really doing the best that she could even though it didn't feel like it at the time.

Jutta said...


Wanda said...

You post has me without words. Only feeling of love, compassion, and honor to know you as a friend and what God do miracles in your life and family. Forgiveness...the most precious word in our language. I love you dear Linda.

Bluebird49 said...

You'll always remember those bad things, but like the quote above "'ll never know the other person's darkness until you've forgiven them."
The Father often forgives His children just because of His extraordinary love for us.
I was able to forgive Mama in two ways years and years, by pouring my heart and forgiving, by showing her I forgave her for everything! Somehow I knew He was the one urging me not leave her. I was sitting by her bed when she lifted up her hands toward the ceiling and beyond? I took one of her hands told her that I loved her. She said, I love you, too, my Doll."

Then in minutes she couldn't bothered by earthly things any longer as much as she loved her "Doll". But she saw someone that put a smile on her face, and and she reached out to things more beautiful, more precious than any
earthly things!

Ang said...

It's posts like these that make me want to meet you one day. Your such a beautiful soul. Love and prayers for you always!

Carole said...

Linda, you are an inspiration. Both my parents are long gone but I still need to forgive them ... and I regret that I didn't get there while they were alive. And they need to forgive me for that. Take care

Cranberry Morning said...

This is an amazing post, Linda. There is absolutely nothing like forgiveness - the forgiveness we get from God and the forgiveness we give - or receive - from another. Reconciliation is what it's all about. A beautiful post. And about your mother's hair appointment, it just proves that no matter what our age, a woman's hair is always a big deal! God's blessings on you, Linda.