Monday, August 18, 2025

Children in the Closet.....Chapter 26

Chapter 26


 I loved every single minute of being pregnant! I even gave up salt, which is something I have craved consistently all my life. I made my own maternity dresses, or at least most of them and wore oversized clothing as well.
It was the best Christmas we had ever had as a family. Jesse no longer seemed hostile to us and he was genuinely excited about the baby. He absolutely knew it was a girl and I worried about him being disappointed if it proved to be a boy, but I needn’t to have worried. The sonogram showed it was, indeed, a girl.
Summer had met a young lady at church who had moved here from Wisconsin and we ‘adopted’ her into our family. She and Summer became roommates in late winter and moved to an apartment just a few miles from the house.
I turned her room into a nursery so fast her head spun. She couldn’t believe how quick I worked. One day it was Summer’s bedroom and it seemed like the next day it was a frilly nursery for a baby girl.
On April 26, 1985, Jesse and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. I thirty-six years old and seven months pregnant. Jesse was forty-one. Summer and her roommate gave us a party and it was such a happy occasion. 
Jesse, Jr. graduated from high school at the end of May and I was 9 months pregnant!
I saw an apron that said, “I’d rather be 40 than pregnant!” Not I! I was thrilled!
My pregnancy was totally perfect except for one brief scare in the first trimester when I started to bleed. That passed and the doctor assured me all was well and it was.
My due date was June 10th but I woke up at 3:15 on Thursday morning, June 6th when my water broke. I heard just the tiniest little ‘pop.’ I woke Jesse up and had my first labor pain. I was surprised it didn’t really hurt – it just felt like my belly had tightened up. We stripped the bed and put on clean sheets before I took a hot shower. Jesse was timing my contractions and they were getting closer and fast. I was putting my makeup on when he said we had to leave immediately. The contractions were now a hair under 3 minutes apart but still not painful.
I went into transition on the way to the hospital and by the time they got me in a bed, they took me straight to the OR. My doctor lived close to the hospital and the nurses instructed me NOT to push until Dr. Baugh arrived. He did just a few minutes later, kicking his shoes off outside the door and with one push, the baby was born. I had not even messed up my hair or makeup!
Amber Lynn Davis was born at 5:15 AM – just 2 short hours after my water broke.  It was a totally painless birth. Other ladies had been in labor long before I arrived and continued to labor after I was holding my new baby girl. Jesse was elated! 
We didn’t have insurance but the hospital was new and had run a special for labor and delivery of just $983 which included one night’s stay. I didn’t even want to stay the night as I was feeling fine, but decided I decided to stay since it was already paid for. Jesse and I had the special meal the hospital provided that evening to celebrate Amber’s birth. We had filet mignon, baked potatoes, salad, and a bottle of wine – which Jesse refused. I kind of wanted a glass of wine but he was a teetotaler and that meant I was, too.
Going home the next day was wonderful! I’ll never forget the magic of the moment when I placed Amber in her crib. This was a real dream come true. My heart was so full of thanksgiving for this child.

We loved our daughter and I couldn’t wait for her to wake up every morning and I was a bit sad when I put her to bed at night. Naps were wonderful and I napped when she did. 
Jesse was an early riser so he would get her out of bed and spend an hour or more every morning making videos of her and talking to her. We took her everywhere with us and I didn’t leave her in the nursery at church until she was 3 months old. I simply didn’t want to be apart even for an hour. I had a bracelet that held a tiny picture of Amber taken in the first minutes after her birth and I would look at it during the church service counting the minutes until I could go pick her up.

In September of 1985, Jesse and I returned to New England, flying in to Boston and renting a car to drive to Cape Cod. What an amazing difference from when we were here just two short years ago.
Our marriage had been redeemed and we had our little Amber with us. Life was good and we were so happy.
Summer shared an apartment with a roommate and Junior left home in the fall to share an apartment with a friend as he started collage. Now it was just the 3 of us.
By September 1987 we were praying for another baby. Once again, I was taking Clomid and charting my temperature. On Christmas Eve I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! What a gift to end the year. Benjamin was born on August 11, 1988 at 5:00 in the afternoon. This time I had gone to the hospital earlier and after laboring for a couple of hours, the doctor broke my water and the baby was born shortly after that. Instead of going home the next day as I did with Amber, I spent two nights in the hospital. I had meant to have an epidural but it wasn’t really needed so Jesse bought me a ruby and diamond ring with the money we saved on the hospital bill.
Our home was filled with love and the sounds of children again. Summer and Jr. continued to come over and visit and our holidays were busy happy ones with two adult children and two small ones.
The days, weeks and months flew by in a happy whirl of motherhood. 
I wasn’t successful in nursing Amber after the first few months so I was trying my best to do better with Benjamin. There was a small loveseat in his nursery where I could sit and look out the window while I nursed. I had just unbuttoned my blouse and unhooked the straps on my nursing bra, settled the baby in my arms and relaxed – when I heard the garbage truck coming around the corner. I looked out the window and saw Amber running down the driveway! She had managed to unlock the front door and get out!
I put Benjamin in his baby bed and flew down the hall and out of the house – bare breasts bouncing and blouse hanging from my shoulders – grabbing Amber on the sidewalk! By this time the crew was in front of our house. They were wide eyed as I picked her up and walked back up the driveway. That’s when I realized how I looked. I didn’t look back but kept right on walking like all was normal!
Later that day, Jesse installed a flip lock high up on the door jamb and it is still there for the next 30 years.
I took the children over to Fort Worth to see Mother every other week at least. By this time, she had divorced – again – and I wanted to make sure she was a part of my children’s lives. Neither Amber nor Benjamin were good travelers – unlike most babies who love to ride in the car. They cried all the way to Fort Worth and all the way back. Our visits were hard work for me in loading and unloading play pen, toys and all the things required for any length of visit. It was worth it to me, though. Mother worked when Summer and Junior were growing up and she was working again now that she was divorced and I didn’t want her to miss seeing Amber and Benjamin growing up.
Visits to Fort Worth also included seeing my siblings. Aunt Lloydine and Uncle Jimmy had hosted Amber’s second birthday and all the family with aunts, uncle and Grandma in their backyard. Summer went all out and dressed up like a clown. She often played a clown at church to entertain the children and I had made her costume myself. We were all watching when Summer appeared as Bozo, anticipating Amber's excitement when she saw her. However, Amber was terrified and started screaming in terror. Summer was devastated and went in and took everything off. A fear of clowns is a real thing and Amber never outgrew it.
  We hosted her third birthday in our backyard where all the family gathered once again. We enjoyed our sibling relationships and Lanita and her second husband, Bob, hosted summer pool parties at their house. Family was important to all of us and we visited together as often as we could.
It was during this time that Lanita’s son was diagnosed with cancer and we all rallied around and held him in prayer. Lloydine’s son had been diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years earlier and made a complete recovery – just as Lanita’s son would go on to do. 

On Monday, September 11th, Summer asked me if I would like to go to Corpus Christi to spend a week in a condominium right on the beach. Her boss had offered it to her to use and I decided that would be such a wonderful thing to do. I had to reschedule my yearly doctor appointment which I did and I had to call Mrs. Morrison to let her know we wouldn’t be over at her WMU meeting that week. Mrs. Morrison continued to be an important part of our lives.
Jesse had plenty of work coming in so he stayed home to work and I packed up things for the kids and myself. We left in the wee hours of Wednesday morning and arrived in Austin at 6:15. It was still dark so we ate breakfast at McDonalds waiting for daylight!
We had a great time at the beach the next several days. Summer had a beach tent that the kids could take a nap in and it kept the wind off of them. We were way up high in the condominium and I would rock Benjamin to sleep at night while looking out at the waves splashing up on the shoreline in the moonlight.

My rescheduled appointment turned out to be on Thursday, November 2nd, and both Summer and I had appointments that day so we went together and switched out holding Benjamin between our checkups. As it turned out, my doctor found a small nodule on my thyroid gland. I had not even noticed it and could barely feel it myself when he showed me where it was. He made an appointment with a surgeon that very afternoon so Summer and I went to lunch at Cheddar’s which was nearby and then she went with me to see the surgeon.
Dr. Husain ordered testing at the hospital the next Wednesday to determine if it was cancer. He thought it unlikely and even so, most thyroid cancers are typically very slow growing.
This was all an unexpected surprise. Still, I was not unduly alarmed and Jesse wasn’t either. I was grateful that Summer had been with me, though. She came back over on Friday to spend the night up on top of Amber’s playhouse. She had made a fort for Benjamin up there and it was all railed in and safe. Amber had been wanting to sleep up there and Summer made it happen. Since it was cold, we ran an extension cord so they could use an electric blanket and stay comfy. 
We all went out to breakfast at Showbiz Pizza and then Summer took care of Amber and Benjamin while I went to Canton First Monday Trade Days with my sister-in-law and a friend. I sat in the back seat working on a Christmas cross stitch project and began to seriously think about my upcoming surgery for the very first time. It was a sobering drive while I imagined what it to be like to have cancer and would I survive it and if I didn’t – would my two young children even remember me? Amber was nearly 4 ½ years old and Benjamin was just 15 months old. 
The next day was Jesse’s 46th birthday but I had been sick in the night and had a terrible headache – maybe from stress. I was so glad when Wednesday arrived and I was at the hospital well before my 7:30 appointment for the testing. It was a two-part test so I had to come back at 2:00 to do the other half. It was a piece of cake except for the terrible headache and the fact that now I could easily feel the nodule. It seemed to be growing fast.
I was back to the hospital at 8:00 on Thursday morning to finish up the testing and they said I probably had nothing to worry about. The next morning, I had an appointment with Dr. Husain who sent me to the hospital for pre-admission. I would be having surgery on Monday morning to remove the nodule. It was growing rapidly and there was a good chance it might be cancerous.
I was up at 5:15 on Monday and heading to the hospital with a terrible headache, a bad sore throat and by this point, you could visibly see the lump on my thyroid gland. Mother and Aunt Irene were there to sit with Jesse while I was in surgery and all went well. Dr. Husain removed the tumor and I stayed in the ICU the rest of the day and night. I was pretty nauseous and the headache was even worse.
I was moved to a private room around noon the next day and was finally feeling a bit better. I worked on my needlework, took a nap and started reading a new book. I had not eaten much more than a few grapes and a couple of crackers when the nurse came in with new orders – ‘Nothing by Mouth.’
I knew what that meant and in a little while Dr. Husain came in to tell me that the nodule had two strains of very aggressive cancers in it and that he needed to remove my entire thyroid gland as soon as possible. Since I had eaten a little bit, surgery was scheduled for 9:30 that night at which time the entire waiting room was full of family and friends. Lanita and Lloydine and their husbands, Summer and Jesse and Mother and our pastor and a few friends from church. I was not afraid to die but I truly wanted to live and be a mother to my children.
The surgery was a success and I was moved back to my room by 9:00 the next night. I was in the hospital for four days and was thrilled when the doctor said I could go home on Friday. The headache was finally backing off and we were all emotionally and physically exhausted.
Amazingly I felt well enough to go to church on Sunday wearing a scarf to cover the bandages on my throat. They had to make a pretty long incision and it looked like railroad tracks from one side of my throat to the other.
I pushed it a little too hard by going to church so I had to go to bed for the afternoon once we got home. I needed to rest up as I would be on my own in taking care of Amber and Benjamin now that Jesse was going back to work. In recovery, my main problem was fatigue. I was exhausted all the time and just changing Benjamin’s diapers hurt my incision. I discovered any strain anywhere in my body affected my neck. Still, each day became a little it easier and by Thanksgiving I was feeling so much better.
It was a very thankful Thanksgiving that year and I thanked God for taking care of that cancer. It came on fast and was dealt with swiftly and by December 20th, my doctor pronounced me healthy. No chemo or radiation needed since the cancer – or cancers since there were two of them -were caught early and the doctor was able to remove it completely.
It was a special Christmas Eve when all my siblings with their families and Mother gathered at our home in Irving to celebrate.

No comments: