Children in the Closet....Chapter 28

 Chapter 28

1993 was the last year of my ‘innocence.’ I was happy most of the time and completely devoted to my family. Homeschooling Amber and Benjamin became a lifestyle and I loved doing it as it allowed us a more flexible schedule and worked out well with Amber’s synchronized swimming and Benjamin's Tae Kwon Do sessions.

We had two ski trips that year and many fun field trips and family gatherings. Mother was very much a part of our lives and proved to be a loving grandma – or Granny – as all her other grandchildren called her – and she was a better mother to me and my siblings as adults than she was when we were children. Amber insisted on calling her 'Grandma' and she and Benjamin were the only two who refused to call her Granny.

Holidays were family events and we would go to Mother’s for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve while Mother joined us at church for Mother’s Day and special occasions. 

Jesse and I had our 30th wedding anniversary and our first-born son, Jesse, graduated from college. We spent many a day at Wet ‘N Wild water park that summer and life seemed to be all I had hoped for.

We were involved with missionaries to Brazil and Thailand as they were home on furlough so our lives were rich in all things that matter.

Still, there were a few things that happened that caused me some concern. One was when Jesse took all my jewelry – diamond rings, ruby rings and a star sapphire and diamond ring that Mother had given me – without asking or telling me – and lost them. He said he was taking them all to be cleaned as a surprise but they must have come out of his pants pocket. This sounded pretty suspicious to me but I tried to believe him.

Another thing that I noticed was his increasingly judgmental attitude. He refused to allow Amber to wear two-piece swimming suits and continued to keep us estranged from Summer. She was gracious about being denied as part of the family and would send gifts to her little sister and brother and she and I would meet in secret from time to time and catch up with one another.

I didn’t know what to do other than pray. When I tried to talk to Jesse, it just made things worse.

Then he started leaving for several hours whenever we were on vacation or trips saying he was checking some things out or going shopping.

I started getting headaches again but not as bad as they had been 10 years ago. More and more often now, Jesse would slip back into his ‘old self’ and I wondered if life would stay good.

During this time Mother had been having seizures. By now she had divorced her sixth and last husband and was living alone. She had long been overweight and had a surgical stomach bypass operation years ago. The doctor who did the procedure was about to retire and when my sister Deanie took her in to see him, he said he needed to undo that surgery as her electrolytes were out of balance. 

The kids and I went over there several times to stay with her and make sure she was okay before the scheduled surgery in March.

Between worrying about Mother, having a heavy heart over not being able to see Summer and a feeling of foreboding about Jesse, I was more than a little stressed and nervous.

February 25th was a Friday and the kids and I had just finished schooling when Jesse returned from doing some errands. He’d only been home a few minutes when police cars pulled up in front of our house and one parked behind his truck in the driveway. It was in the afternoon and all the neighborhood kids were outside playing including ours.

I saw the officers getting out of their squad cars from the den windows so I met them at the door. They asked for Jesse and when he came to the door, they escorted him to the squad car where he sat in the back seat for a long time. The officers talked on their radios and then let Jesse out to stand beside the car while they questioned him.

By this time the neighborhood was alive with excitement and people were standing out in their front yards just watching. What was I doing? Peeking out through the window. Why I never once thought about going out there and demanding to know what was going on didn’t even enter my mind.

It should have. As it was, it would be a good six weeks before I found out what this whole thing was really about!

When Jesse finally came in, he was quiet and subdued. He said he had been turned in for reckless driving. I found that hard to believe on one hand but he did have a tendency to drive in an aggressive manner. When my neighbors, Stephanie and Beth, called and I told them the ‘story’ – they didn’t believe it either.

Jesse was so calm and silent all weekend that it was scary. The kids and I continued on with our normal schedule of Amber doing her Synchronized Swimming practices and Benjamin training for his Brown Belt testing in Tae Kwon Do.

Mother was preparing to have her surgery so the next week I took Amber and Benjamin with me to spend some time with her and help her with her taxes and clean her house up for her.

When we got back home, Jesse was still acting strange but it was a silent kind of behavior that I could work around by just letting him have space. He spent a few days fasting so I assumed he was dealing with a spiritual issue of some kind plus he had been going out in the evenings to attend some ‘meetings.’ It wasn’t church related or I would have known about that but I didn’t feel comfortable in asking him any questions. Plus, Mother was on my mind and taking care of her.

Her surgery was scheduled for Thursday, March 10th so the kids and I went over on the 9th to visit her at the hospital and then spent the night at her house. We arrived at the hospital the next morning at 8:00 just as they were wheeling Mother to the holding area for surgery. She laughed and told the nurses that I homeschooled and made everything a lesson or a field trip. They allowed us to ride down in the elevator with them and kiss Mother goodbye.

We stayed at the hospital all day with Amber and Ben doing their school work and I visited with Lonnie and Lloydine and Lanita as we were all there for Mother. Lonnie was living with her at the time and would be able to take care of her after she was discharged.

The surgery went well and we were all grateful. Amber wrote a beautiful poem about her Grandma’s surgery and how her aunts and uncle and mother was praying and waiting for the doctor to come out and tell us she would be okay. 

  The next week I took the kids on a field trip to Oklahoma City along with Jesse’s sister and her two youngest children. Jesse seemed relieved for us to leave. I had an uneasy feeling but left as planned.

The week after that was a swim meet and I stayed busy with all that was involved in that and then it was Easter.

It was the best Easter we’d had in a long time with lots of family all going to church together. Jesse’s mother and her husband came up from Houston for the weekend in their RV and Mother and my niece Leah came from Fort Worth. Jesse’s sister and her husband and their children were there as well.

We had a wonderful weekend and I started to relax again, thinking whatever was going on with Jesse had worked itself out.

We had a huge Easter dinner packed around the dining room table and dessert and coffee on the back patio. Music was played in the den and we cleaned the table off and set up Chicken Foot for those who wanted to play. For supper, we had steamed hotdogs cooked in a professional steamer Jesse’s mother and her husband brought with them. We all ate outside and when it turned chilly, we gathered in the den and watched the movie ‘Christy’ with a fire log burning in the fireplace. Just a perfect weekend.

Everyone left Monday morning and I had such a happy heart and I decided everything must be okay. I tidied up the house and did a light day of schooling as I prepared for a presentation of Art by Young Scholars at the Homeschool meeting that night which was well received. The kids had gone with me to the meeting and Jesse was already in bed asleep when we came in so I put the kids to bed and stayed up really late preparing lessons and having some quiet time.

Tuesday April 5th - 39 days after the police incident on February 25th, Jesse came home early. A storm was blowing in and I assumed that’s why he was not working. He asked me to get the kids started on their schooling and to meet him in the den. He needed to talk to me about something.