Monday, August 19, 2019

Loving my Daughters.....

Today was a big day for Summer.
I spent Sunday night with her and we both set our alarms for 8:00 this morning.
She has Alexa and I used my phone. I had one minute extra!
We were just lying in bed anticipating the day when Summer got a phone call from the medical facility asking if she could come in early - as in right now!
That took the leisure out of the morning and we hopped to it and was at the center shortly after the call. Oops! They had given her the wrong surgical center address.
Apparently they changed facilities so after we had parked and walked in - we walked back out and went a few miles to the other one.


Here's Summer with her medical records for the past three years - with the exception of one doctor who has his on a disk. It's a journey that records the pain she has endured for a long period of time....3 years. By the time the birth defect in her spine was diagnosed and surgically treated - more nerve damage had accumulated. 


And still she smiles....when her picture is taken.
You don't see what I see.....when she is crying and sobbing and moaning.
She tries her best to be positive and hopeful - but it is a challenge that has become increasingly hard as the months and years have gone by. She has lost her health, her home, her job, her career, her life......


and yet she remains positive and full of faith......
but she battles the darkness of doubts and despair as well.
My post on Facebook this morning.....

The injections this doctor is doing today are different from all the others she’s had. She started crying at the possibility these will give her relief the others have not. When she started crying, her three nurses came over and we all had prayer together before they took her back. Thank you all for the prayers for my daughter. It was three years ago in September when Summer’s journey with intense pain began......so hoping the journey grows easier.....

I was with her right until they took her back to the OR.
I had no more than made a cup of coffee in the guest area and called to check on Louis Dean - when they called my name to come back.

My next Facebook post was .....
Summer is home and in bed resting. I fixed a salad and she ate and is doing well! Thank you for all the many prayers....We are so grateful for each one.

After our salad lunch,  I loaded up all my bags and headed over to Dallas to meet up with the quads after their first day of school.
I was sitting outside the front door watching for them!
I am not normally early for anything but I was there today!


How can this be??
They are 7 years old and in second grade??


Will they be as tall as I next year??
Maybe......

I didn't take pictures - I try not to overexpose the kids - but we had a great time at the Race Trac after school eating up yogurt with all the toppings!
PLUS they still have the summer promotion of a set price for the different sizes of yogurt cups.
Let's just say - this grandma saved as much as it cost today! At least!


Granddad has not been feeling well these last several days.
He so wanted to come over and see the quads on Sunday but  just did not feel well enough.
He mustered up all his energy and was parked at Quadville when we all drove up after our yogurt treat.
Alas, after visiting with them a few minutes - he had to retreat to Amber's guest room and rest.  We have come to the conclusion that he inadvertently took a double dose of his blood pressure medicine. They are as small as a piece of lint so that is a real possibility.

He took a good long nap and we left when he felt like he was able to drive home.
I told him that it was a mistake to come and he said, "No, it was NOT a mistake."

Since we returned from the ranch - life has been busy.
I feel like we don't get to give our full attention to where it is needed.
I love my family and I feel like I have neglected my older grandchildren - Sam. Faith and Levi.
Then Rayne is so far away in Puerto Rico.....
I miss quality time with Amber - where we used to give our full attention to each other.
That was so much a part of us until it wasn't......possible after the babies were born and life moved and pushed us forward to meet the challenges of multiple births and we all pulled together as one.

You know, as mothers we do the best we can. We have our children and they have children and we then have grandchildren.....I seek wisdom tonight....
Wisdom to take care of myself......
because if I do not - I cannot take care of anyone else.
I vow to take care of Louis Dean .....first and foremost......
and of my children.....
Summer, Jesse, Jr, .Amber and Benjamin.....and my grandchildren....
Then there are others.....Louis Dean's family.....Dean and Sherry, Chandy and her family.....
So very many people who are so important to us.
It's a gift from God to give us all these relationships....

I close this journal entry tonight thinking some deep thoughts.....
and now it's time to go to bed......

17 comments:

Vee said...

Sleep well, Dear One.Your love for your family has always shined through. I am glad that Summer is doing well post procedure and continue to pray for her complete recovery. I wish that life could be easier. Still, God has a plan. Hope that you figure out a way to be present in all your family and friends’ lives without spreading yourself too thin.

Bluebird49 said...

I feel you! I have a problem with self care, mostly putting myself last. You are right. We cannot help the ones we love if we are not up to it. This stays and burrows into the deep dark corners of my heart and soul everyday.
Linda -- you are enough!!

Kathy said...

I am praying for Summer. I know what back pain is all too well (wish I didn't) and have problems in the same vertebrate she does. Although I am no where near as badly off as she is, it does give me empathy for her. I am adding her to the prayer list at Bible Study today.

I am looking at the quads and thinking where did the time go. It is hard to believe they are in second grade already. I'm so glad you were able to spend time with them.

Hope Louis Dean's tiredness is as simple as taking too much medicine. He is always so much on the go it must seem strange to have him resting so much.

But, Linda, take care of yourself too. I know you want to be there for your family so you need to do what's good for you. Don't spread yourself too thin.

Deanna Rabe - Creekside Cottage Blog said...

Still praying for Summer!

I’ll pray too, for you, for the wisdom you seek, and the ability to love your family well. You do love well, your a great sister, mom, grandma. Maybe the how you’re able to love will look different than it has in the past, but will be still meaningful.

Glad to hear you’ve figured out what’s going on with Louis Dean!

Susie said...

Linda, I am praying that the injections Summer got will indeed work for her pain. It's so sad what has happened. Pain takes our lives and energy. I agree with you. We absolutely have to take care of ourselves. I pray for God to make me strong to take care of myself, Ted and all the others who may need me. Because usually in a woman's life that is how it is. Because our children are grown , doesn't mean they don't need our help, many times.
Yes, your grands are growing taller. Soon they will be taller than you. My Emma Pooh is taller than me . LD, needed those precious hugs. I am praying for all of you there. Love you, xoxo,Blessings to all, Susie

Carol said...

Oh Linda, as mothers I feel that our self care always gets overlooked. I am thankful that my children are raised, but now the grand doll feels as though she is just as much my responsibility. I hope that this procedure helps Summer as I know how awful back pain can be after my husband woke and could not move without being in excruciating pain!

Hope Louis Dean gets to feeling better as well.

Nanaland said...

Praying this new injection will give Summer some relief. You are right about being pulled in so many directions. I see my local grands a good bit but feel guilty about not seeing the others as much as I would like. We will see Audrey and Joshua this weekend and I cannot wait. Hoping to catch up with the Hoover Grimmlins on Labor Day Weekend.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I hope Summer has good results from these too. I sure miss my family...living so far away from them all. They are scattered all over the country. Love your photos. Hope L.D. feels better soon! Hugs!

Debby said...

You have a lot on your mind. Praying these shots help Summer.
I hope Louis Dean is feeling better.
Yes you need to be well to take care of all those loved ones.
Hugs.

Sandra said...

i am still fretting over LD being so tired. double meds will do that, it happened to bob a few years ago, but was the fault of CVS pharmacy, doubled the dosage, took a few days for me to figure it out. after that i checked the dosage carefully on each pick up.. thanks for the reminder, i stopped checking at the store, now i will start again... hope he feels better soon... you do a lot of non family caring for people, you might have to cut back a little. if you can. it is part of who you are.

Changes in the wind said...

Relieved to know that there is a reason that LD is not feeling well and can get better. The quads have changed so much and they are tall. Glad things went well for summer and first time I have read the reason for all the pain she has. Hope the shots help.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I will be praying the new meds do give Summer some relief. Her faith shines through in her smile. How beautiful she is. You are blessed to have 2 daughters. I have only one but she too is a blessing to me in so many ways.

Teresa P said...

The Bible tells us to "Pray for one another" and that's what I will certainly do. I pray these injections will ease the terrible pain that Summer has endured these past few years. Its hard as she has lost so much due to her health. Praying LD will be feeling back to his old self soon and that God gives you the strength to continue helping all your family and friends during their time of need.

It just never seems like a enough time in the day to do all we want or feel we need to be doing. I am asking for prayers for my husbands 90 year old father David and my husbands stepmother Laura as they are having many health challenges. He is in a rehab facility and she is undergoing cancer treatments. It appears they both will be going into a care facility in the near future which is sad but also mind easing as they can no longer function safely at home. We live out of state and it makes it difficult to manage their care. My husband went last week to meet with his doctors and discuss a care plan.

photowannabe said...

Deep thoughts indeed...
Yes, Linda, you MUST take care of yourself....you give so much but if you are depleted there will be nothing to give.
That being said..Life is a beautiful adventure for you and oh how you love your family.
God's Blessings.
Treasure each Gift the Good Lord has given you...
(((hugs)))
Sue

Ginny Hartzler said...

How long till we know if the injections were successful? Please keep me updated. I have been praying for Summer, especially last night about these injections. That they will take away all her pain. You do the very best you can, and that is more than most can do, even me!

Chatty Crone said...

I am praying for Summer - oh to get her some relief! sandie

Carole said...

Doctors make me anxious so whenever they measure my bp it's high. One prescribed me pills for it which I took for about a week and felt so lethargic I could hardly move - when I told the doctor she just said why didn't I stop them right away - how was I to know?? So an overdose of them could be what did it to LD - if so, he'll bounce back.

BTW my lovely oncologist laughed when I told him about this and said that the heart is able to tolerate huge fluctuations in blood pressure - for example racing car drivers spike to enormous levels when they are racing... it was very reassuring.

Cheers and all the best to LD!