Thursday, July 13, 2017

Now it's WHEN and Not IF!

Monday was a great day and an awful night!
Tuesday was an awful day and a great night!!
I cried and got a terrible headache and actually felt sick at heart.
We woke up to the power being out - again - and Mother and I had an 'episode' right off the bat.
It went from bad to worse from there. So much so that I called Ruth Ann and sat out in the front yard under the pecan tree until she arrived. She saved the day! Things began to stabilize and she and I spent the afternoon doing what we normally do on Tuesdays - Goodwill Hunting!

By the time I got home Tuesday afternoon, and took a little nap, life was looking better.
Louis Dean got pizzas and salad and bread sticks for our dinner and I was stuffing carbs in my mouth as fast as I could cram them in!!

Mother ate and went to bed and Summer, Louis Dean and I settled in the den with a movie.
Summer knows me so well and knew if I could get lost in a movie, I would relax.

This was a GREAT movie and by the time it was over I was feeling more like myself!

Today started early!
I am going to tell you something you will find hard to believe!
We arrived at Mother's doctor's office ONE HOUR EARLY!!!

No worries! I knitted and we laughed and talked and it was fine.

Deanie arrived just as one should for a doctor visit - 15 minutes early.

Since it was a fasting visit, Deanie had brought Mother a Mocha Frap.

Summer brought her one, too! She gifted it to another little old lady in the waiting room.

The visit went well.
I talked to Mother before we left the house and explained what was happening.
She received the news well.  I told her Deanie could not take care of her anymore and Nita had already given her seven years of care and our home was not Dr. Goldman is going to help us find a place for you to live. She was good with that.

She got a good check up except for the UTI so she had a shot and a prescription to take care of it.
The doctor signed the order for her to go to a nursing home and all the medical records were faxed over. Deanie had already chosen one and had met with the director. Things were in place so now the next step has been taken. Deanie will now get an appointment with the social worker and we will go from there. So - it is no longer a question of IF but WHEN. We are making progress!

We take every opportunity to get together and celebrate and support each other.
Deanie chose El Fenix and it was perfect!

Mother, me, Lonnie on the left and Andie, Deanie and Summer on the right.

Having Andie join us was such a good thing.
Young people help us keep our balance. Life is a blend of ages - young and old - sickness and health - life and death - all the stages from birth to grave. Andie was a blessing in just being with us this afternoon.

Her Uncle Lonnie had picked her up and then gone over to Deanie's to pack some of Mother's colored pens and color books plus a few extra things she will need. We all love our brother and it is a joy to be around him!

Summer was another blessing. She encouraged our hearts and comforted us with her presence. 
She was my driver today and that meant I could have a margarita!

It was a happy afternoon!

I have to admit we were all pretty tired.

It's always a special time when Lonnie is with us.

So the day ended well.
We all came home and we went straight to bed and napped for hours!
Last week I dreamt I was driving Summer's car and had gone in to a store for pastries and when I came out, someone had taken the steering wheel and I was trying to drive without one. 
Then while I was napping this evening, I guess I could hear Louis Dean as he was sawing off part of the door we are refinishing for the new room at the ranch. I dreamt he had cut off the top of our elm tree by the gazebo and it had fallen on the house and caved the roof in.
The dreams match my feelings of not having control of my life and feeling unprotected.
I often wonder about dreams and their meanings and have a few books on them but no time to really study. Still, it's interesting as to what they mean.

This is where we are now.
Mother got up and took her medicine, made her some fresh ice water and went back to bed.
The three of us have been sitting in the gazebo as I write.
They visit and I chime in and keep on with my train of thought here in my journal.
I tell the truth in that this was a difficult day made better by the prayers and thoughts of our friends and family. To my dear readers - thank you.
 To my friend, Dawn - your phone call meant so much.
To Jutta - you are a blessing and encouragement to my heart. I'm glad you have met all the players in today's scene.


Jutta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jamarson1 said...

These things are never easy. I'm saying a prayer for smooth transition for your Mom. And piece in your hearts❤️

Mrs.T said...

I have been watching for a post from you, Linda, and am so thankful to hear that things are moving forward with a nursing home. Such a blessing that your sister has already chosen one and that the arrangements are already in place. That really makes a difference, and things may move quite quickly from here.

We got all the arrangements for my dad in place ahead of time, and when he needed to go there it was only a few weeks' wait. (I understand that a few weeks sounds like an eternity right now,😉.)

We have a nursing home in place for my mother-in-law also. She may not need it for quite awhile, but it's there when she does. At their age, a fall or other incident could turn things around all too quickly.

Continuing to pray for you, Linda. God will see you through this!

Vee said...

No finer report than that "The Lord stood with you." I feel a sense of relief for you all knowing that the steps are in place and that you know where she will be placed.

Praying for grace and mercy in each situation. His grace; His mercy. Sending love across the miles...

Susie said...

Linda, Thankful for all of you to get some good results. I think your mother will be fine at the home....she can get around and enjoy the many activity rooms they have. It was good to see Lonnie, Deanie ,and the others in your pictures today. Sending love and prayers to all. Bless you, xoxo, Susie

Sandra said...

Sorry to hear about your good and bad days and nights, but also knew you would pull through all of it like you always do. you are so strong and my prayers are with all of you as you go through this transition, been there done that so know how hard it is... you are blessed to have your siblings and children helping you and holding you up and of course the best blessing of all LD

Robin@DecoratingTennisGirl said...

Very difficult times for you, Linda. My aging parents are both living. My Dad is in good shape, my Mother has had 2 strokes and severe macular degeneration. I do what I can for them and my Dad is wearing down at 87. The tough nursing home decision will come at some point for me, about them being an only child. Prayers for you all...

MimiG said...

Prayers answered - a new place for your mother. She will be around people her age and have care that you know is necessary. As you say it - A Win, Win..
I've lost both of my parents now, but remember (especially with mother) life can be extremely difficult. It was sometimes so hard to try and just live a daily life while coping with episodes/tantrums. As my doctor tells me, the caregiver has to FIRST take care of herself/himself in order to give any caring to another. Remember that, please.
Prayers will continue for all of you. And dear Summer.

Deanna Rabe said...

What beautiful words to end this post on! You all have been God's hand of grace and mercy to your mother. So glad she'll have a place and perhaps being with other people her age will give her enjoyment.

Praying for you all. He KNOWS!

Arlene Grimm said...

So glad you got everything settled. It has been a trying week here at Nanaland as well so I will pray for brighter skies for both of us.

Anonymous said...

May God bless you, dear Linda. Caring for the aging calls for so many difficult decisions, and moments of conflict. My Mom fell and broke her left hip (broke her right two years ago ) two days before we were to depart for Jay and Camille's wedding, in Idaho. Their wedding was July 1st.

In April, I was blessed with the foresight to ask two friends who were to attend the wedding, to be on standby if I were to need them to care for my parents. My premonition came true. They stepped in and tended to my parents so we could go to the wedding without any worries.

Prayers from here!

Debbie said...

Oh my goodness Linda can I ever identify with this post. The year and half my mom lived with us were some of the hardest times ever...we had our good days and our sweet times and shared lots of conversations and laughs, but it was sooo hard. It is hard for me to get around with my knees and I had to push mom in a wheel chair everywhere I took her. Not sure how much longer we could have gone on and there was no one else to take her in. My sister kind of helped but two of them were in no position to really, and the one who was did very, very little. Growing old is just plain old "the pits". I am soo glad you have a place to put your mom that you all feel good about and pray for an easy and smooth transition for her. Hang in there...God's got this! HUGS

Cheapchick said...

A tough day but one that had to come. Your mother will adjust to wherever she gets sent, she is just lucky to have you all who tried to do their best or her as long as possible.

Ginny Hartzler said...

Oh Linda...I have tears in my eyes now. But I do think you will be feeling better now that there is a definite place and plan. And you are so very blessed to have a large, beautiful, and supportive family. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug! Like I commented on Facebook, everyone should have a Summer in their lives. She is a wonderful example to everyone!! I am praying for a solution for her that will last! I agree that your dreams are about not having control. But you are handling everything so beautifully, and are a wonderful child of God.

Carol Slater said...

Linda, I am thankful that you finally know that your mother is going to be taken care of and that the burden is not on just one of you. My mother lives with us and has for over 10 years. I truly believe it destroys a relationship to a point.

Carole said...

So glad things are progressing. You are doing the right thing - but that doesn't make it easy. Dreams are spooky aren't they - my least favourite kind are those that you go back into again after you've woken up. I must find a copy of Hidden Figures to watch. Cheers from little ol me over at Carole's Chatter

Wanda said...

Oh Linda, what story this week has been. So thrilled that you have such a loving and caring family to surround you in these difficult decisions. Dreams are a crazy thing. I had one last night that had Clint Eastwood telling me he loved me, and My Uncle Bud was there, and he's been in heaven over 30 years. I told Clint I loved him too. And then I woke up, and my dearest was in bed next to me.... I didn't tell him my dream..HaHa.

Keep praying, laughing, and having a margarita or two. Love you girlfriend. Hugs and prayers.

Bluebird49 said...

I have a good feeling about the outcome! There may be a few bumps in the road, but a blessing is coming to you and your family!

Ang said...

What a blessing that your Mother took the news well. I know that will make the transition easier for ALL of you. Glad you got to relax a little too. Stress can really take a toll on us.

Jill said...

I just watched Hidden Figures with my daughters yesterday and it was a wonderful movie! I'm sorry to hear your mom has to go to a home, I know that can be so very hard to do but necessary at times and I'm sure she understands and it is clear how very much she is loved. Big hugs to you, keeping you and your family in my prayers. Enjoy your weekend.