Saturday, August 27, 2011

CHANGE is the only 'Constant!'

Everything changes. Everything. Nothing ever remains the same. I have often been slow in accepting change. At other times I can't seem to wait for it. There are seasons in life and each season brings additional changes. I believe it is best to accept change gracefully and even to embrace it at times. For some reason I have been thinking about this a lot the last few days. WE change and when we do - relationships all around us change as well. As children grow up our relationship changes with them.....evolves into friendships. Even our relationships with our spouses change over time.....if we are honest about it. A counselor once told me that NO relationship remains the same. As we evolve in personal growth and character so does our marriage. We would become stagnant otherwise. I am so enjoying the journey Louis Dean and I are on together. We make a good team.

I believe what prompted all my THINKING this past week was my Mother.
She got really tired last Friday and has not seemed to recover yet.


This picture is from 2009. Mother hasn't seemed to age a day since then.
She is actually in pretty good health.....disgustingly so to hear her tell it!
She told me she is ready to 'go' but God must still have plans for her.
She is a prayer warrior.....the best one I know!
She and I have always been close and I am trying to prepare myself for the day when God does call her home. Is one ever so old they don't need their mother?

Anyway, yesterday she kept telling me she didn't know what was wrong with her but that she didn't feel well!
My sister said she had been tired and disoriented on Wednesday.
Every day I called her and she sounded weak.
All we did yesterday was get her hair done and go out for lunch.
It totally wore her out.
When I left her she had to walk me to the door so she could push the button to close the garage door.
I could see what an effort it took her to get up and walk over there.
As I left I was struck with the sudden fear  - would THIS be the last time I see my Mother here on earth?
It scared me. And what was even scarier is I could tell Mother was having this same exact thought!
I held her face between my hands and told her how much I love her.
She did the same for me. We both cried a little.

I drove home with a heavy heart! What had I been thinking? That I would have Mother FOREVER?
I was so NOT prepared when she suffered a massive stroke in 2005....shortly after I married Louis Dean.
I was devastated when that happened. I need to be a grown up and realize that one day she will go 'home.'
She will join loved ones gone on before and I know with a certainty of spirit she will be in heaven with them.

OK.....so Louis Dean and I went on with our errands and chores of the day.
Finally at 5:00 I decided to call her and see if she was feeling better.
No answer.
Dread filled my heart!
I called again a few minutes later and was so relieved to hear her voice!
"Yes! I am better!" she said.
I told her I was scared when she had not picked up on my earlier call.
"Was that YOU?"
We laughed and had a nice little phone chat.

I enjoy our Fridays together. Louis Dean has always told me to treasure them.
I suppose in light of the recent earthquake and now a hurricane bearing MY middle name....
I am simply reminding myself to make every moment of every relationship count!
We never know how long we have with each other.

Prayers for those whose lives are being impacted by this storm as I write.


8 comments:

Deb said...

enjoy every moment with her....

Anonymous said...

How powerful this post is. You know Linda I struggle every single day with the fear that something life altering is going to happen to me & I won't be able to cope. I'm 32 and these fears have already set in. Sometimes I allow them to control my life (which I hate). I'm sorry that you are facing these same fears. I know that I will never outgrow the need to have my mother around. She is my best friend & the ONLY person who will ever have "unconditional" love for me. I'm glad your mother is doing better today. I pray that she bounces back quickly to her normal self. Life does change & way to rapidly for my liking. I"m a creature of habit & have a terrible time embracing ANY change. I've got to learn though, got to do better. This post was beautiful in a sense & I thank you so much for sharing your fears. It's so nice to hear that I'm not alone in my fears. It really had an impact on me.

I'll be joining you in prayer for those facing the hurricane.

Nita said...

Linda, Mother got up this morning saying she didn't know what was wrong but she is fine now. We are having the roof looked at so I told her there may be people walking on the roof or you have see people in the yard but they knew they knew to call Mike and they would not bother her. But that could have worn on her
expecting something and watching for it. But she seems fine right now.

Robin@DecoratingTennisGirl said...

We must enjoy our family while they are here, but I know you know that, dear Linda. You are such a great daughter!

Kathy said...

We are never prepared to lose our parents no matter what our age. The fact that you are close to your mother and spend time with her is wonderful. My mom died 6 years ago and I miss her every day. But I treasure the time I spent with her. You will feel the same, I am sure.

Lynne said...

Oh Linda...You are such a sweet blog friend. My mom and I talked about this subject yesterday. She and my dad had to bare the loss of a child, (my brother) to early onset dementia.
We were saying that we just stack our blessings to lift us up and over sad times.
~Lynne
[w/L]

Bev said...

Great post and so true! Your mom is one lucky mom!!

Carla said...

This was a very moving post and you have me in tears because I can so understand your feeling of dread. I was almost afraid to keep reading but I'm glad that when finally reached her she was better.

My mom is my best friend and she's always there for me.

May we all treasure those moments with our mom's.