Friday, January 25, 2019

Mother Went to Heaven This Morning.....

We were up early this morning.


So early that when I went out to the front room to turn my coffee on, I could see the sun rise.
I don't see many of these. The light was pushing the darkness away.
I listened to the birds as they were tweeting, chirping and welcoming the day.

Louis Dean and I had coffee together and were preparing to leave for Fort Worth when my sister, Nita, called me with the news that Mother had passed away this morning....she left at 7:20.

We have known Mother was going to be leaving. 
She had no quality of life and was ready to go.
At the end she was in pain and suffering.
The booklets I read when Reaoma was ready to go explained that dying was hard work.
Just as hard work as being born.

Summer had been with her Granny on Thursday evening and when Mother saw her, Nita says she lit up like a Christmas tree!

Mother was a very good Granny and every single one of her grandchildren and great grandchildren were special to her. I am so grateful that Summer was with her last night.

We didn't go to Fort Worth. 
I didn't cry or fall apart.
I haven't cried even yet - but I will. I know I will.
I felt numb.  I still feel numb.
I found myself watching the sky all day.


I decided to go in to Mart and pick up a few things and maybe shake off this stupor.
The sky was so beautiful.


I didn't really need to go to town but I just wanted to get out and be alone a little while.
I stopped at the Dollar store and bought a candle.
I have three burning right now....one here at the table by the laptop.....one by the kitchen sink and one in the bathroom. All different scents but they blend nicely and together they smell wonderful.


Then I went to Leon's Junction - a really cool funky little shop right on Texas Avenue in Mart.
I found a treasure - a rusty rustic Texas garland - for just $5.
I stopped in at Virginia's Vintage - she has a flea market style thrift shop.
Then I went in to Read's Grocery Store to buy hamburger makings....meat, lettuce, tomatoes.
Louis Dean is going to grill some tomorrow. 


Still watching the sky on my way back to the ranch.


I stood on the front porch this evening and watched the clouds as the sun set behind me.
This was where I watched the sun rise this morning as Mother was going to Heaven.


Sunrise and sunset.
Birth and death.
Our mother is gone now.
You know what one of her greatest gifts to us was?
You will think this is strange.....
Mother suffered a massive stroke on September 25th, 2005.
We were told she would never be able to feed herself, walk, dress, or talk again.
While she never recovered her speech, she was able to do everything else.
The gift she gave us was the last 13 years.
If she had died in 2005, we would not be the family we are today.
We worked together to take care of Mother and by doing this, we all became very close.
We weren't close before this. At least I wasn't close to Nita, Deanie and Lonnie.
We weren't estranged or anything. We all had our own lives and dramas and such and we would get together from time to time - but we weren't close like we are now.
Taking care of Mother taught us about each other.
I'm very grateful for that.


I set up the art table this afternoon because when I paint, when I do art, I don't think.
My mind is on the brush and the paint and I relax.


So that's what I did today.
I finished up the two Santa paintings and thought about what to paint next.
Jutta suggested I paint something to remember this day.......


I decided to paint this morning's sky.
I spent a few minutes basing it in and will continue to work on it.
I used a lot of paint and it needs to dry a bit.


I want to thank you all for your prayers and condolences.
For your kind words and thoughts for us.
Mother leaves behind six children.....
Linda
Deanie
Lanita
Lonnie
Luann
Shari

Today has been hard for all of us but you have helped so much.



39 comments:

  1. Love and prayers Linda for you and your wonderful family. I remember those feelings and you will remember the beautiful sunrise. Your family was gathered together in you Mom's care, that is a good memory to carry forward.
    Love, hugs.
    Joy

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  2. What a beautiful day to go to Heaven. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs, Liz

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I will light a candle for you. X

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  4. I'm so sorry, Linda. I remember the feelings well. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

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  5. I am so sorry. Oh, Linda, I will continue to pray for all of you. I remember the days that followed my mom's death. It does bring the family even closer. You are all such a strong family, and have each other through this. This is such a blessing.

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  6. I just read this; glad your mother is released from suffering. It is so hard to see those we love in pain; we feel helpless and useless. It is good to know you made her last days as pleasant as possible.

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  7. I'm so sorry, Linda. I remember those feelings well. I'm so glad that you are close with your family. It will make this time easier to go through. Still praying for all of you. (I looked at the sky a lot the day my dad died.)

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  8. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  9. You have written so well of your day. Yours was uniquely your own. I am glad that Jutta made such a good suggestion. Isn’t it good to look back and see what The Lord has done? We are not always aware of it as we’re living it. Comfort and peace to you, each of your siblings, and all the grands and greats.

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  10. It is a blessing to have that beautiful sunrise to remember the day your mother went to heaven. How thoughtful to paint it. What a wonderful tribute. We do tend to feel numb when we lose a loved one. It's like words cannot describe the feeling. You have a treasure in your family and that you were all able to get close in the last few years is wonderful. Blessings do come in disguise sometimes. You and yours remain in my prayers as you've yet to go through some difficult days.

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  11. It has been a long time coming but that doesn't make it any easier. Sending prayers of peace to you and your family.

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  12. this post is a perfect tribute to your mother, I love the gift you received from her stroke, that is such a great thing to receive. and you told it well... I think when we know the end is near, and things are so bad, and the dying is hard, we don't cry at first because we know they are resting now. my mom and dad, both died long and hard and I felt the way you do now... God bless all of your wonderful family as you go through the grieving process.

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  13. Sending warm hugs, may your heart be at peace with the warmth of your memories. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

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  14. I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  15. My sympathy to you and your family on the passing of your mother....I am sorry for your loss. My dear mother passed a month ago today, and I still can't believe she is gone. May God surround you with His peace and comfort as you journey on.

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  16. Oh Linda, how beautiful was the morning sky, and how beautiful was your dear mother. I will always remember the pictures of her with her hair in place and bright lipstick. So many memories...and as you said....In God's Time, How wonderful you had those 13 years. My heart and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs.

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  17. Linda, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  18. What a beautiful painting! When I lost my little sister I would spend hours walking around Target not really thinking of anything but the familiarity of shopping was very comforting. You are still on my mind as you process your new normal. Sending lots of love.

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  19. Linda, It is strange how God does his work...like all you kids caring for your mother and learning to truly care for each other. I will miss you writing about your mother...so please bring her into some of your posts now and then. I already missed how you and Pauline would get your hair done together and go to lunch. I have been missing my mom more since yours has been so ill. I love the idea of a beautiful sunrise painting of the day your mother went on to heaven. Blessings to all of you. Hugs for Summer.Love you , xoxo, Susie

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  20. Sorry to hear about your mum. Hope you're okay and grieving through it properly. :)

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  21. Linda we are sorry for your loss. May you be comforted buy your happy memories.
    Marilyn and Marion

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  22. So sorry to read about your mother's passing, Linda. My mother passed away 4 years ago and lately I have been thinking about her more and more. You will remember your mother also through good memories.

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  23. You know you are in my prayers as are the rest of your family. I am so glad y'all took this last 13 years to become a "new" family. I can sense the joy and love you feel for them in your writings and you can always see it in the photographs.
    The sunrise you chose to paint - absolute perfection. I think that painting will help you get through all that comes next, including your book.
    M

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  24. I am sorry Linda. I, too, have felt numb after a death sometimes and then it "comes out" when I least expect it. We all grieve in different ways. I'd say painting is such a good outlet for you and you can pour all of your feelings right out the end of your brush.

    I hope you have a really good night. God bless you and I know that your Mom is blessed to be in the world beyond this one. xo Diana

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  25. Be kind to yourself at this time, Linda. I know LD will be looking out for you. She sure left a legacy with her family.

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  26. Linda,
    I am so sorry to hear of your Moms passing. My late Mother in law passed away almost two years ago and the last five years of her life were hard and she had no quality of life. It did however bring my husband and his sister closer and they did lean on each other a great deal.

    My thoughts, prayers and love go out to you and your family during this time.

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  27. Through your beautiful writing, we all feel close to you and your wonderful family. Joy cometh in the morning. My sympathies. Rest now.
    Eileen in Florida

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  28. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone we love. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you all say your good-byes. Keep her memory alive and don't stop writing about her, she was a big part of your blog family. How sweet that her stroke brought you & your siblings closer.
    Love Mary from Quincy, MA

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  29. What a hard but wonderful gift these last 13 years have been for you all. I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. You painting is going to be stunning, the basing in is already amazing.

    Continuing to pray for you all.

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  30. Just seeing this Linda....you and your family will be in my prayers as you lay your mom to rest.

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  31. Oh Linda I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so difficult to lose a parent no matter what the age or circumstance. Your painting is beautiful and I'm happy that you can find some comfort in your art. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

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  32. Ohhhh.... dear sweet Linda. *sigh* I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother and my heart & prayers are there with you.... with you all. Lovingly & always, Andrea xoxo

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  33. Linda, I am so sorry to hear that your mother has passed. I know your relationship was not an easy one. I hope by finishing your book, it gives you closure and peace. Much love prayers from Michigan.
    xoxo, Heather

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  34. I am so very sorry for your loss, Linda. You were all wonderful children to your mother. Wishing you peace.

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  35. May God comfort you and all who loved your dear mother.

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  36. Linda, I am so sorry to read about your mother. Prayers for all of your family.. At least you know that she is not suffering any longer. She is at rest.

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