Cooler weather is heading in our direction!!!!
THIS is our SHOCKED face!!!!
Mother and I pretended we had October-ish FALL weather today!
We lunched at Red Lobster and we both ordered bowls of clam chowder - with COFFEE!!!
Mother was so funny today! She REALLY wanted coffee!! Her first cup was downed before I had even finished loading our picture to Facebook! I thought she was wanting more cream but she quickly let me know she needed more COFFEE!!!!! The waitress was behind me and when Mother saw her, she lifted her cup up high and said (in a LOUD voice!), "PLEEEEEEZE, PLEEEEZZZE!!!!"
Our server was sweet and had a sense of humor. She filled Mother's up and smiled when Mother said, "OH! Thank GOD!!!!!!"
Who KNEW she was THAT desperate for coffee????
She and I had a nice visit. She communicates pretty well - as in the restaurant incident.
Still, there is much Mother wants to say and can't. We all have our 'Story.' She so wants to tell me about incidents in my childhood and things that happened with my siblings. She tried and tried and I LET her try. Then I gently told her that we all have our stories. While I am happy she knows in her mind the events of the past, it is too late to tell us. I simply can't understand what all she is trying to say. I get the gist of it but she wants to SAY things. And she can't.
I assured her that we love her and that we ALL have made mistakes and we ALL would do things differently if we had a chance. The thing about life is - we only get one crack at it. We do the best we can with the circumstances we are in at the time and that's all we can do. The BEST we can at the time. Granted - now we have better knowledge and growth and understanding - but that comes over the years and with experience. I explained to Mother that as time goes on, we have to embrace where we are today.
I think she gained some peace and understanding. I hope so.
As she and I talked today, I told her that it's only been in the last dozen or so years that I have 'grown up' and realized I have the power to make decisions and control my own life. I wish I had had the mind and emotions I have NOW all those years ago!!! But I didn't. I am so blessed to be living this wonderful life and I never take a single day of it for granted.
While Mother can't speak and didn't journal, she can't tell her story any more.
I DO write and I have found several journals I kept - in addition to my Country Diaries - from a few crucial years in my life. It's important to me that I never write anything I would be ashamed for ANYONE to read. As I have been rereading these journals, I have been amazed at how much I have FORGOTTEN!!! I'm glad for these journals and they will be there for my children if they want to hear MY 'story.' We all have one, don't we??? And they are all amazing!
Last night I drove over to Arlington to catch my oldest grandson's baseball game!
The days have been called VERY WARM by the weather forecasters ( 90's!! ) but the evenings have been so comfortable! Last night's game was at 8:00 so the weather was PERFECT!!
These are Jesse's children. LOOK how they have grown!!
Sam is taller than I and he is only 12!
Levi's next game is on Monday night and I HEAR that the weather will be more fall like!!!
I can't wait!!!
Louis Dean worked on his fence today! That is SUCH a huge job and I am proud of him for taking it a chunk at a time. The gate will be a work of ART!!!! Another trip to Tractor Supply is in order for Sunday afternoon.
I cooked up a skillet dish of four cheese ravioli with hamburger and four cheese sauce.
The A/C is on here in the den and we are settling down to wait for that cool rainy weather to arrive. Summer just called me from Oklahoma and it is FORTY EIGHT degrees there!!!
It really IS on the way!!!!
Time with you and attention from you, as well as a lot of love is about all your mother needs right now and you certainly provide that easily! And she is such a beauty (like you!).
ReplyDeleteFunny you mentioned the diaries. Of course I've kept journals all my life but when I started the blog, I just couldn't find the time and frankly, my feelings were very redundant, I whined and complained and lamented about every possible thing under the sun. I wrote very negative things about my husband, my sisters, my mother...friends. About 3 weeks ago I threw away half of them, I have about 10 more to go. I don't want them and I will never re-read them. I have photos, memories, stories from others and of course my blog. I want to lay the past to rest.
So glad you are getting cool weather. We are in the 50's at night and low 70's during the day. Fall is definitely here in Illinois! :)
Jane xx
Can I ask what happened to your mom? A stroke? Alzheimer's? I saw my grandmother through both. I do know that they will concentrate on things in the past because they can remember those things the best. It is their short term memory that is impaired, but the past is often so clear, and so it is safe. She looks very pretty today, and so happy to be with you.
ReplyDeleteYour mother is a gem, Linda. Please give her a hug from me.
ReplyDeleteYour mother is precious. Your blog encourages me so much, Linda. It's like you know my heart and know what I need to read. I love your energy, your enthusiasm and your genuine love for your family. Enjoy your weekend and that fall weather. We don't get that around here. I do miss it, but I'm sure not complaining.
ReplyDeleteI have come to realise that my blog is a kind of journal, I think that's why I enjoy writing it. Your relationship with your mum sounds very positive Linda, I'm sure she just loves her time with you X
ReplyDeleteLinda, Does you mother have the ability to write or draw? if so , she could maybe convey what she means that way. It must be frustrating for her at times. But bless her heart...she smiles and seems to enjoy every day you can be together. I have sippets of journals here and there. In one I always tried to write down funny things the grandkids said or did. Only when they were toddlers. Blessings for a great weekend. xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeletep.s. wow Sam is growing and cute too.
Susie, I was going to ask the same thing. If she cannot express in speaking, maybe she could be encouraged to write her thoughts down.
DeleteCute photo of the shocked duo! We all have our stories and what a frustration not to be able to voice them. I sometimes re-read my blog and find things long forgotten and that's just in the past seven years.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the cooler temps and may they moderate to something warmer than 48F. It is very chilly and raw here today and I am hoping that by 2:00's soccer game, things will have warmed considerably. Otherwise, I'm taking my blankie and a thermos of hot coffee. Wow. Sam really has shot up there!
Love the shocked looks! Your mom and you are so fabulous together.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry your mom cannot communicate. I wrote in a journal when I had cancer. It's good to write things down. enjoy your mom and your grandchildren. xo
You are so sweet with your mom Linda. My father in law has Alzheimer's and the most significant symptom he has is loss of language. He knows what he wants to say and/or write but the words don't come out right anymore. Sometimes he comes up with something related and we all laugh. He can laugh too, thank goodness. :)
ReplyDeleteYour post helped me Linda. I lost a friend yesterday and have been beating up on myself that I didn't spend more time with her. I'm going to try to forgive myself now. I know she has. Thanks
ReplyDeleteOh Linda - I remember with my mother - it has to be hard not only for you but for her too - just wanting to get her feelings out. Plus you have to forgive and forget. No one is perfect.
ReplyDeleteLinda dear, I read your post with tears as I think of the special daughter you are to your precious mother. Oh yes, we all have a story, and I'm so sad I didn't write down more of my mom's stories, as she was not a person who journaled or kept diaries. I miss her so much, and cared for her the last year and a half of her life. You have shared something here we can all relate too, and now that I'm in the winter of my life, wonder how I will relate to my children in the years when I'm not as healthy as I am now. I love you Linda....you are an inspiration to me and I relate to so many things you share.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I wrote a response here Friday evening and it just evaporated into the ether! :) You seem to do so well with your Mom. It must be terribly frustrating for her to not be able to communicate the way she would like. Yes, we all have our stories, don't we?
ReplyDeleteI used to journal a lot but went back and tossed a lot...concerned that my kids and who knows who else might read them some day. I had a diary when I was growing up, however, my mother would read it and then I'd be in trouble. There was nothing serious in it ~ kept that to myself! She wanted my brother and I to portray this "perfect" image and always worried about what "they" might think, say or do. We never knew who "they" were! Such a sad way to live...
I'll stop rambling my friend. :)
xo
Pat
Your shocked faces are so cute. Made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYour mother is a hoot. I know it's got to be frustrating as all get out when the words won't come out right. Gotta love her she tries.
My mother is missing some stories of her mom's life too. My grandmother wrote in a diary every day and it burned up in the house fire when my mom was young. Mom would love to know what was in them. Might have answered many questions she had about the family history. Oh well we create our own from there. Hugs